I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
