Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
