How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
