it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
