It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
