Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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