their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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