one two three fourrrrnication!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
