Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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