like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
