so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
40s are totally the cure
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
