So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was confusing and full of hummus
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
