Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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