i jhust puked up my retainher.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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