Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
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I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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