weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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