So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
