Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
