dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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