Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize