also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
