I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
