I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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