idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
