She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!