Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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