i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it was like eating out sand paper
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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