Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
