He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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