Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
