one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize