I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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