I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
