whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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