I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So here I am, sexting at work.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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