I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
