is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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