Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
