You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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