My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
