Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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