my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize