How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
