You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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