I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize