your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
