Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
