tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
