Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
