Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
