What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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