Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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