It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
