google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Holy shit dude........stairs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
