break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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