I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
