walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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