She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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