He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
