Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
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I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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